Broken

Yes. She talked. She said it. After days of contemplating she finally said it. But what was the use. He forced her. He pushed her. But was he blamed? No. She was. It was her fault. All of it was her fault. She trusted him too quickly. She wooed him. She gave him signs, encouraged him. She led him on. It was only fair she had to bear the consequences. She only got what she asked for.

He did what she asked for. He reacted to her. It wasn’t his fault. He was just being a man and men needed pleasure. He needed pleasure. So he did what he wanted. He sought out her indications.

Well, why didn’t he listen when she asked him to stop?! Why didn’t he stop when she pushed him away?! He knew she wasn’t ready. He did it anyways. Why didn’t he take those indications?! Maybe he only heard what he wanted to. He ignored the rest; that which denied him what he wanted. Was he blamed? No. he wasn’t.

He said he loved her. Guess that was all pretense. Maybe he never truly loved her. Maybe he loved her for how she looked and not for what she was. Maybe he was just trying to get what he wanted and she never realized. She thought it was true, the feelings were true. Maybe they were. But now she was scarred forever. It wasn’t what she wanted.

But it was her fault. Not his. She went alone with him. If she didn’t want to, she shouldn’t have done that. She invited him to do it, didn’t she? Her words meant nothing later. Her resistance meant nothing.

She knew what people would say. She always knew. And so she hid it. She tried to be okay with it. But one day she couldn’t do that anymore. So she told them. Hoped that they would understand; thought that they would support her, be there for her. But they didn’t. The people closest to her, blamed her for it. They said it was her fault too. She was equally guilty. It wasn’t only his fault.

She was left alone. Even though she was the one who struggled through it…not him. He got everyone. She was left with nothing. I guess it really was her mistake. She never should’ve trusted him. She never should’ve loved him. They say it hurt him. But do they know what it feels like when someone you loved so much couldn’t respect you; respect your boundaries and your wishes.

Maybe it hurts him too. But no one will ever question him. It will always be her fault. People will question her. Blame her for being so stupid. She will never trust a man again. She will never trust people with her secrets again. She will never love easily again.

She walks in the rain now, to hide her tears. She’s cold and heartless. This is the last time she will ever cry; the last time she will ever trust. This is the last time she will feel… the last time she will break. And when the rain stops, the tears will too… forever. There are no scars anymore. Everything is broken. Everything is dust.