That day she finally talked about the things that always
haunted her; the fears that always followed her; the moments of the past that
still brought tears to her eyes. People always told her that opening up to
someone would make it easier for her. But it’s easier said than done. Opening
up was hard because she had learnt to shut up. She had learnt to not say the
things she actually wanted to and say the things they wanted to hear. After
many years when she finally got to pour her heart out, her mind refused to do
it.
But she wasn’t always like this. She was actually the exact
opposite. She liked to talk; loved to have variety of conversations with a
variety of people. She shared her views and came up with innovative ideas. She
was creative, innocent, active, always on her toes. But time snatched it all
away. She turned quiet, learned to only listen when having a conversation;
stopped sharing her views and ideas. But not many people noticed. To her utter
dismay the one person she hoped would notice simply didn’t have to time to
listen to what she has to say. So she simply stopped saying it. She learnt
pretty quickly that the world doesn’t give a damn to what she thinks, how she
feels.
So she kept everything hidden. The only thing which actually
knew her was probably her diary. The diary that listened to everything she had
to say and never asked her to stop talking (writing). And so many of her
fantasies, wishes, beautiful ideas and the worst of pains stayed hidden in that
little bunch of papers. But she never complained. She changed her lifestyle but
still enjoyed the little moments of joy that life offered her.
The most important thing of all was the people in her life -
her friends, her family. They saw her transformation. Tried to help her in
whatever way they could. Unfortunately there wasn’t much they could do apart
from just being there with her. She had to go through that transformation
alone. Through all this darkness, she still had hope; that one day things would
change. And she would get to be the person she once was. She wouldn’t have to
hide. She waited for that day; waited for a miracle.
After years of darkness came the light. The miracle she was
waiting for had arrived. It came in the form of her daughter. Who unlike
everyone else saw the world differently and saw her mother for who she was; and
saw what lay behind the face that the world saw. Her daughter was there to
listen, to comfort and to offer the shoulder that she always wanted.
So that day she opened up. She talked about the things that
haunted her, the past that disturbed her. She found a person who brought out
the old her. And that day she poured her heart out, she cried, she laughed, she
yelled, she whispered, she let everything out. Surprisingly, she found herself
believing what people said: Opening up made things easier. You just had to wait
for the right person to open up to; believe that miracles do happen and that
life isn’t all darkness.
Undoubtedly that became the best day of her life. The day
her life completely turned around. She wasn’t afraid anymore. She wasn’t going
to stay quiet anymore. And she definitely wasn’t going to hide anymore.
